So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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