Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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