shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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