You're completely useless in the revolution.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
