my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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