i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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