Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
