Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
