btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
