I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
