also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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