She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
