He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
