i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
