we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
