idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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