And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
