its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
