I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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