Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
