I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
