Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
