We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
