Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
