You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I need to stop coming to work sober
she peed on how many people?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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