she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
