No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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