she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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