its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I party with great urgency now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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