I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
