med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize