So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
