My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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