butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what day is it and did you see me today?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
