is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
