she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
