friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
