We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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