If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
