Don't make out with my wife yet
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
