He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
