lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
this hospital has no fireball
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
