Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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