dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
