Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
