I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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