Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
