OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
