allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
