How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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