I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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